How supporting a mate got me to change

Learn how Jeremy's simple act of accompanying a friend to an anger management class led to a profound realisation about his own behaviour. Watch as he reflects on his behaviour and realises the importance of protecting his loved ones

Soft piano music plays continuously in the background for the duration of the film. On a black screen is the text ‘Warning. This video contains coarse language and discussions of violence. Viewer discretion is advised.’

Jeremy sits in the lounge of his home, being interviewed by someone off camera. He has short, grey hair, and is wearing a black Adidas t shirt. There are small paintings on the wall, behind him is a black leather couch and a wood burner.

Jeremy: “Kia Ora, my name is Jeremy. I'm 57 years old, father of three, grandfather of four, great grandfather of one, that's me.”  

Cut to a shot of Jeremy from behind and below. He is standing outside in a wooded area with very large trees. White words appear on the screen ‘Thinking about change’.

Jeremy: “When I came back down to Foxton, I started hanging out with a fulla who's quite extreme, he's out there. And this I started hanging out with this guy who I considered violent. So as long as I'm not as bad as him, I'm all good."

Cut to Jeremy standing outside among tall trees. He looks off in the distance and his lip quivers.

Jeremy: His level of aggression changed. He wasn't as angry and wanting to be in conflict all the time.”

Cut back to Jeremy in the lounge.

Jeremy: “so I'm like ‘[ ___ ] what's the  matter with you man?’ and he finally said to me, ‘Oh actually bro I've been doing this anger management course.’

Cut to the beach, Jeremy is walking up the beach away from the camera. A close up of his dark brown leather jacket focuses on a white metal ‘white ribbon’ pin (a symbol for standing against violence).

Jeremy: “God, I don't know what possessed him to, but he just called in on his way to course one night, and he goes ‘what are you up to? Why don't you just come for a ride for something different. They've got coffee and biscuits.’

Cut to a view of the treetops, from below looking up. The camera spins slowly.

Jeremy: “‘All right then man. I'll come for a ride. I'll support you.’”

Cut back to Jeremy in the lounge.

Jeremy: “I'm still, yeah, ‘I'll come for a ride to support you then bro, come on then.’

So I jumped in this car, and we walked into this room, and I got introduced to a group of people, but particularly start off with to a couple that ran the Horowhenua violence and prevention program, Ngaire and Bob Thomas.”

Cut to Jeremy sitting at a table outside his house, drinking coffee with another man. The man is in his forties, pākehā, with a brown moustache and short, grey hair. He is wearing a black sweater. They chat inaudibly.

Jeremy: “I'd been sitting in the background, taking stuff in, listening to stuff, I went back and it just … that night opened me up to the type of man that I didn't realise I was.”

Cut to slow motion scenes of Jeremy walking around his house. Standing in the kitchen, we see him from behind, with the fridge on his left, and framed photos of children on the apricot-coloured wall. There is a hanging pot plant to the right and another on top of the fridge.

Jeremy: “When you're trapped in this world, you don't ever take an inward look at yourself.” 

Cut back to Jeremy in the lounge.

Jeremy: “I would have protected my partner, and my partners over the years, and my kids with my life, as most partners and fathers would. Never ever did I take an inward look and think that maybe my kids and my partners needed some protection from me and my behaviour.”

Cut to Jeremy and the other man walking across sand dune towards the beach. They smile and chat inaudibly.

Jeremy: “All it takes for change to initiate or to happen is the right person, at the right time, with the right words. And anybody has the potential to be that person for someone they're trying to help.”

Cut to a black screen. White words appear saying ‘In your hands. Change starts here. For you and your whānau. If you think it might be time to change your behaviour, you’re in the right place.’

More to Watch
Jeremy's story

Jeremy's Story

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Jeremy's story
Jeremy - Taking Steps for Change
Jeremy - Staying On Track

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