How I repaired my relationship with my kids

Jeremy shares how he has repaired his relationship with his kids and emphasises the importance of having a strong support system to stay on track.

Soft piano music plays continuously in the background for the duration of the film. On a black screen is the text ‘Warning. This video contains coarse language and discussions of violence. Viewer discretion is advised.’

Jeremy sits in the lounge of his home, being interviewed by someone off camera. He has short, grey hair, and is wearing a black Adidas t shirt. There are small paintings on the wall, behind him is a black leather couch and a wood burner.

Jeremy: “Kia Ora, my name is Jeremy. I'm 57 years old, father of three, grandfather of four, great grandfather of one, that's me.”

Cut to Jeremy, standing outside among tall trees. He is wearing a green polar fleece with a ‘Hunting & Fishing’ logo. He is smiling broadly. White text appears, saying ‘Staying On Track’.

Cut back to Jeremy in the lounge.

Jeremy: “I started to take responsibility for my behaviour, and any apology was a genuine apology. Having and keeping that support around you would be really important to help you maintain that new change…”

Cut to Jeremy wearing a T-shirt and beanie, standing on an empty white sand beach, casting his fishing line into the ocean. He slowly reels it in. The sky is blue and he is cast in shadow by the sun.

Jeremy: “…until you can take all your new skills and tools and start using them as number one.

So how's my life and my relationship with my kids and family now? It's 90% better than it was.”

Cut back to Jeremy in the lounge.

Jeremy: “I can't take back the hurt and the damage that I've done, and that definitely will affect my kids for the rest of their life.”

Cut to slow motion scenes of Jeremy walking around his house. Standing in the kitchen, we see him from behind, with the fridge on his left, and framed photos of children on the apricot-coloured wall. There is a hanging pot plant to the right and another on top of the fridge.

Jeremy: “But it's got to a place where I believe that it's the best that it can be.”

Cut back to Jeremy in the lounge.

Jeremy: “We're able to tell each other that we love each other, and be there for each other when need it. And they're not too frightened to ring me if they get in any binds or anything like that. Because back in the day I would have just yelled at them you know [laughs] so that relationship's there.

I just um [pauses looks into the distance and swallows]. It's just different. I'm just not carrying the level of rage that I used to carry in my life. They can see that, and they know that, and they trust me now enough to come back in. And you know, for me that's a big one is just gaining their trust back.”

Cut back to Jeremy standing in the forest among the trees. The camera focuses on the tree canopy an pans to show the blue sky in the distance.

Jeremy: “What you have got to understand too is that you don't just suddenly become magically violence free.”

Cut to Jeremy and a pākehā man in a red checkered hoodie and jeans walking away from the camera, across sand dunes towards the beach.

Jeremy: “It’s not going to be plain sailing from that day. When you decide to make changes you're still going to make some backward steps along your journey.”

Cut back to Jeremy in the lounge.

Jeremy: “The last thing is that I believe anybody's possible of change. I don't believe there's no throw away the key cases.”

Cut to Jeremy standing on the beach with the pākehā man with nearly shaved hair and a brown moustache. They chat inaudibly as they look out to sea, smiling.

Cut to a black screen. White words appear saying ‘In your hands. Change starts here. For you and your whānau. Your journey isn’t a straight line, but practice can get you where you want to go.’

More to Watch

Staying on Track Playlist

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Jeremy's story

Jeremy's Story

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Jeremy's story
Jeremy - Thinking About Change
Jeremy - Taking Steps for Change

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