Stepping away from jealousy

This video explores the complex emotion of jealousy within relationships, highlighting its roots in fear and insecurity. It discusses how jealousy can signal commitment but becomes problematic when linked with possessiveness and controlling behaviours, potentially leading to violence. The video provides strategies for managing jealousy, encouraging viewers to acknowledge their feelings and prepare helpful responses. The aim is to foster healthier, more secure relationships by understanding and addressing jealousy constructively.

A man speaks:

Have you ever experienced jealousy welling up inside? Jealousy typically involves two people in a relationship and a rival. That rival is normally another person, but sometimes it can be around the amount of time somebody decides to spend on other activities. At the heart of jealousy is the fear that the other person or activity is robbing the relationship of time.

It is now thought that jealousy is more a thinking process in response to our feelings of anger or sadness, fear, abandonment. Jealousy is a response to how we feel. Jealousy is a feeling that arises from suspicion, apprehension, fear of unfaithfulness, or fear of being replaced by someone. Jealousy can serve several functions in a relationship, including limiting the level of contact with others outside the relationship. It can communicate caring and commitment to a relationship. It can signal a warning that there are negative feelings and insecurities in the relationship.

Jealousy becomes a problem when it is connected with possessiveness. We know that when jealousy and possessiveness walk into relationships, controlling behaviours increase. In situations of abusive practice and family violence, high levels of jealousy can lead to serious physical and sexual violence.

When jealousy is kicking off in our head we need to get on top of it pretty quickly. Acknowledge what's going on. Make sure you are safe. Don't let the echo chamber increase the volume. And acknowledge your worry about abandonment. Your challenge is to get ahead of the game so you can step away from jealousy. Think about each of these things you can consider. Then ask yourself, what do you imagine might be happening? Now, make a list of unhelpful ways to respond. And finally, make a list of helpful ways to respond. Preparing for situations ahead of time is always more helpful than being caught in the moment.