Distancing from strong feelings

The video discusses the phenomenon of being overwhelmed by strong emotions like anger or rage, likening it to feeling intoxicated. It emphasizes the importance of naming these emotions to regain control and make safer choices. Through practical steps outlined in the video, viewers are encouraged to develop the habit of distancing themselves from intense feelings to prioritize family wellbeing.

A man speaks:

When we experience strong emotions like anger or rage, it's almost like we become intoxicated with them. It feels like they take over us and make choices for us that we don't want to make. Naming the feeling is a great way to get some space from these difficult emotions and can give us back some control. It doesn't guarantee we won't make an abusive choice, but it does mean making a safe choice will become easier. By naming the feeling, we are taking our brains off autopilot, and we are freer to make choices that will lead to positive outcomes.

Here's how you do it. The first step is to be aware that you're feeling a strong emotion that could lead to an unsafe choice and to then identify this feeling. For example, anger or rage. Depending on where you are, and who you're with, it might be a good idea to remove yourself and go somewhere quiet, for example, another room, or outside. Next, say to yourself, "I'm feeling anger right now because..." Next, say to yourself, "I'm noticing that I'm feeling anger right now because..." Next, say to yourself, "this feeling is taking me further away from family wellbeing".

Your challenge is to create the habit of getting distance from strong feelings.